It's official!!

http://aiminglow.com/2011/08/aiming-low-mailbag-ikea-store-of-comfort-confrontation/

Amen Sister.

I'm getting Published!

Maybe I'll get some internet friends after people read my shpeal on Aiming Low. It should be published in the "guest writer" section in the near future on their website of awesomeness. Super excited about it! I'll post the link once it's up :)

I'm Snookie minus the poof.

A little Jersey Shore action on my pay stub.

Sheetz Show.

I know 3 posts in one day. You are so lucky. All 6 of you that read my blog.

I just went to Sheetz to get some gas and some lunch. There were many interesting things I saw which leads me to this post...

• Young couple- Snookie look a like and d-bag that let the door shut in my face on the way in. Rude.
• The same couple stood behind me in line so close I thought they were going to pitpocket me.
• Young couple #2- Girl hanging like a spider monkey on her boyfriend while he orders MTO (I'm all about PDA, but get a room.)
• Same girl from young couple #2 was wearing jean shorts 3 sizes too small that her lady parts were pretty much hanging out of and her cellulite was jiggling everywhere.
• On my way out to my car, I walked past a parked car that I'm convinced had a huge weed tree in the back seat. Does weed even grow on trees?

PSA based on girl #2: I get that you're 19 and it's really cool to wear super short shorts. And I get that people have cellulite. I'd be the first to know, after having a baby, I'm covered in it. HOWEVER... NO ONE wants to see your cottage cheese thighs and butt cheeks hanging out. I'm still somewhat young too, but choose to be a little more modest in my outfit choices. No I do not by any means wear mom pants, but seriously...save it for your boyfriend.

Comments = Super Cute Pictures. Swears.

Hi, please like my mommy and be her friend! :)

PPT

Yay Pet Peeve day! I get to complain some more...cause I'm sure that's just what everyone wants to hear. But to be fair, I'm sure these are legitimate issues that don't annoy the hell out of just me.

Let's talk about cars.

Let's talk about my sorry excuse for a car.

Let's talk about the fact that I didn't get my license until I was 21. (okay that's a story for another day)

But seriously...

I JUST got a car. I'm almost 24. It's fine. I'm not bitter at all. And not just any car mind you. My mom's old 2004 Suzuki Verona. Heated leather seats, sun roof, the works. Now I'm sure you're reading this and thinking, WTF are you bitching about? Well folks, it's the lemon of all lemons. They don't even make this model anymore because it ended up having so many problems. I knew this long before my mom gave it to me, but then again, SHE GAVE IT TO ME. FREE. So there's why I can't really complain.

Except...

In the month I've had it, the engine light has been on. Twice. It's also been in the shop 4 or 5 times..I've lost count. And to top it off, the stupid Suzuki people FORGOT to order the part for my engine that was cracked?! And knowingly let me drive around with it like that. Not exactly safe. Especially when I have a 10 1/2 month old baby that rides in my car too. So for the zillionth time I had to take it in there, I decided to leave it for the weekend so I wouldn't waste gas driving it back and forth. (for a smaller-ish sized car, this thing eats up gas like it's an effing Escalade.)

So onto my actual pet peeve:
I FINALLY get the car. The engine light is FINALLY off. I notice the gas tank. It's on E. E!!! I dropped the car off with half a tank of gas, and I realize that looking at it the wrong way drains at least an 8th or two, but what were these people doing that used up a half tank of gas?? So now on top of the repairs for stuff that should have got fixed the first time I brought the car in, not the 4th, I have to pay to refill my tank.

Obviously I'm a millionare. Obviously I should be driving an Escalade seeing as how it costs just as much to fill up the tank. Obviously.

Super Secret Confession that I've Been Telling Everyone

People keep complimenting me on my pants today.

I'm wearing maternity pants to work.

I'm not pregnant.

The things I'm subjected to...

Super fat old creepy man with lots of head and face hair keeps walking by the front desk of my office and mumbling things that don't make sense. Either way, he's weird. and creeping me out. Did I mention he doesn't even work here?

On another work note:

Things that people should utilize...
Scheduling Assistant in outlook.

If you do not know what this is, it's a way to schedule meetings where you put in everyone's name that is being invited and then you click the "scheduling assistant" button and up pops everyone's schedules. This way you don't make meetings and send out invitations that conflict with what everyone else is doing.

I seem to be the only person who understands this feature.

Rude.

That is all.

Worst. Dream. EVER. Nightmare style.

Just had the worst dream ever last night. My gram died (she isn't with us anymore), and then my uncle and my MOM who are both alive died in my dream. (My uncle drowned but then he was alive again and my mom and him got bit by something or got some kind of rash that slowly killed them and we all knew it was a matter of hours) WTF? I woke up and just about burst into tears. I made AJ snuggle me to try and make the scared go away but I'm still freaked out. Someone explain to me what in the world this dream means!

Wedding Shenanigans

This weekend as you may have read, was my friend's wedding in Philly. Before I get to the shenanigans, I must note that the bride looked absolutely stunning, and I couldn't be happier for her!

Notable happenings of the wedding/reception:

• Drinking our faces off thanks to a combination of not having much to eat and the bartender was an older gentleman with a tooth missing who made the drinks 1/4 cranberry juice, 3/4 coconut rum (totally fine with me...it was delish) or half Seagram's 7 and prob a tablespoon's worth of ginger ale.
• AJ carrying a large woman up a flight of stairs in her wheelchair with another very NOT sober gentleman because the hall was not handicap accessible.
• A man telling AJ that AJ's from the KKK because he didn't vote for Obama.
• Getting pulled into the soul train line twice by 2 different old guys.
• Collard greens=not my favorite vegetable.

On a side note, I need to be reminded not to venture over to Ulta or Michael's on my lunch break. I ended up buying glitter eyeliner (you know for all those crazy nights out) a lepoard headband (that I love so much I'm wearing it at work) and 3 more spools of ribbon for all my hair bows that I make and don't sell because no one really knows I sell them. (take this as a hint, please buy some!)

I'm addicted to the internet, true story.

Here's a somewhat complete list of all the bazillion websites I check out or post to (daily):

• Facebook
• G-mail
• Yahoo
• This blog
• Tumblr
• Stumble Upon
• Crushable
• Parenting

and a few others I'm not so willing to admit...don't worry it's nothing crazy like porn.
Get your minds out of the gutter! Or maybe I was the only one thinking that.

Oh well, it's Friday, I can't be held accountable for my actions.

It's always a good day when you get paid.

Happy Friday Thoughts!
Super pumped to actually have happy things to write about today!

1. I get paid today
2. Benihana just e-mailed me my free birthday dinner certificate
3. My favoritest mug that cost me 3 bucks from Ross that I use everyday that was missing for 2 days was found in the dishwasher in the kitchen at work!!
4. I get to leave here today at 2
5. I’m going to Philly for the weekend for a good friend from college’s wedding

and AJ just informed me of:

6. There’s going to be a meteor shower tonight that only people in the Northeast can see :)

Oh hey, middle school.

Since this is Pet Peeve Thursday, I have one more urgent pet peeve that I must share because I am so angry my eyeballs might pop out.

I’ve been at this job a month. I am nice to everyone. So nice that you could ask me to take your trash out and clean your desk and I’d probably do it. I’m in my mid-20’s now and so are many people that work here. Coming to this job, knowing that I’d be working with people my age was supposed to be a good thing, I was looking forward to it. Until I realized many of these fellow 20-somethings are girls.

I’m sure you know where I’m going with this…

All the guys are nice, all the older women are nice, everyone’s friendly. Guess who isn’t?
In middle school, high school, and even unfortunately college, girls are caddy. Girls are petty. Girls are mean, they’re downright bitches…for no reason. Now by no means am I perfect, I’ve had my share of gossip, but people…this is a job. This is legitamate. This isn’t time for omgthatgirlstolemybf! Now granted I haven’t heard any of that (yet) but I certainly wouldn’t be surprised if that was next.

So I get it, I’m the new girl, let’s talk lots of shit on her it’ll be a good laugh. But what I don’t get is, what do you possibly have to say when all I’ve ever been is friendly?! Everywhere I go I make a point to NEVER give anyone any fuel to talk about me. But somehow, I suppose I managed to piss off one girl in particular (must have been my stunning personality and blinding good looks) to the point where she made makes Yahoo Messenger statuses about me. Like really? You’re going to stoop that low? That’s like 7th grade low. I mean geeze, at least get a little more creative than that. I’m obviously going to read them. And so I’m the bigger person time and status again I never say anything.

(she even made one about me that said “here’s a clue your not that important” first of all, this broad had the same job as me when she first started, actually she didn’t even do as much as I did, and secondly, here’s a clue, you spelled YOU’RE wrong.)

But today, I had had it. I was tired of letting her talk about me to practially everyone in the office behind my back and act like a 4th grader. So instead of thinking up some really witty status to retaliate with, I confronted her. And what did she do? Deny the whole thing. After I had proof from people that no, I was not crazy, those statuses were indeed about me, she pretended not to have any idea what I was talking about, and went even furthur to say that it was about upper management.

Sorry, I don’t buy the BS. She must watch Mean Girls on repeat and take notes. Maybe next time she’ll be a little more creative, oh and use spell checker.

Pet Peeve Thursday.

I need to have a pet peeve day every week. Let’s make it Thursdays.

So today my pet peeve would be people who steal things and think they’re not going to get caught…aka dumb people.

Case and point:

I get a phone call this morning from my mom who tells me that one of the laptops from her office has been stolen. Clearly this is the work of the cleaning people who have taken things out of the office before. No thanks to the people my mom works with, every other time something has gone missing, no one wants to call the police to report it. Well finally a laptop has been stolen so they finally decide to listen to her. But what I find amusing is that the cleaning people were obviously the people to take it. Are they that oblivious to the fact that as soon as someone notices it’s missing, the first people that are going to be suspected are them? They have keys!! Maybe this is why they are cleaning people and not rocket scientists.

I have a low tolerance for BS and an even lower one for Idiots.

Contacting the Butler County Assistance office could easily be anyone’s worst nightmare. Upon opening a letter from them telling me my daughter’s health insurance has stopped due to my “unknown whereabouts”, I had to call these morons to set things straight.

First of all we moved to Allegheny County a month ago. Being the perfectionist/OCD crazy that I can be, I made sure I called these people to let them know our change of address like eons ago. So not only have I told them on multiple occasions where we’re living, THEY SENT THIS LETTER TO MY NEW ADDRESS!! (how the heck do you not know my whereabouts?!)

**sidenote: From the day we started dealing with these people, there has been mistake after thoughtless mistake. The hours of my life (and minutes used via my cell phone) I’ve wasted were certainly NOT worth it. People, avoid welfare if at all possible because dealing with idiots would make anyone want to kill themselves.

So anyways, I call this place and after spending a good 2 minutes just hearing my option (press 1 for whatever…) I get a recording saying they’re handling a lot of calls and then disconnect me. Um what? So I call back and start pressing random numbers. Finally I get through to hold music telling me my wait time is 6 minutes which in Butler County time means 45.

Fast forward at least 15 minutes and I’m talking to this woman who clearly is missing most of her brain cells. She informs me that they sent me the wrong notification letter (surprise) and that I should have got one that said they were transferring my files. (Um it’s about time seeing as how I originally gave them my moving information over a month ago) So I say okay fine I just want to know if my daughter’s insurance has been stopped. She says that it’s good until August 7th, then when it gets transferred it will be good through Allegheny County August 8th. Okay lady, it’s August 9th, are you aware of that? So I inform her that it’s the 9th and again say, so does that mean it’s active then? Again she repeats herself. ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS CAN WE USE HER CARD, WILL IT WORK?!!? sdf&!*$

After going in a circle for about 3 minutes, I finally ask if I can just be transferred to Allegheny Co. and I’ll just ask them instead. To which she seems offended and says with attitude, Oh they won’t answer I can tell you that. Like really, why would you tell me that, how the heck would you know that? She never even transfers me and then procedes to STOP TALKING. Yep she just stopped. I said hello hello a bunch of times and then gave up and hung up.

I’m left with none of the information I needed to know after 25 minutes of being on hold and going back and forth with a lady who didn’t even know what the date was.
SERIOUSLY BUTLER?!